An Audible Understanding

Recently I got together with my friends, Alex Robinson, Katherine & Fitzy to record a podcast.  We’ve been having great conference calls these past few months and they have proved to be powerful and revelatory. I think we’ve found a line of thinking that couldn’t come from any one person, it took a group to accomplish it. Actually, it took this group to do it, this was meant to happen how it has so far.

The podcast is a continuation of the “Women’s Show” on The Rebel Path. I had a part in that as well, as some might recall, Alex asked me to write down some words to read on air.  What I came back with was a bit too… technical.  So, I went back and gave a much more personal account of my experience. Which for that show, was much more fitting. Although I find what I wrote initially still holds true, to the nature of these discussion.

It’s one thing to put you and your thoughts out into the world, but another to have that be received, understood and accepted. From reaching into yourself and bringing up words that have since lost meaning to you, it’s a curious sight to see other people gain something from them. To show you, they do and have always mattered. Ranging from personal trauma to unspoken guidelines of society, no topic is looked down upon, everything is handled with respect. It has been a lot more rewarding than therapy sessions could ever be, because you’re not alone, you aren’t the “client”, you’re an equal. Dissecting thoughts and experiences can be such a weight off your shoulders, no longer can they control you once they’re put on the examining table. Distancing yourself from such an intimate yet toxic part of your conscious allows you to finally heal.

The healing aspect is important to note. I’ve gone from a bleak acceptance of my depression to now having trouble remembering when was the last time I even felt that way. I know exactly when it was, when I started taking part in these conversation. When I was finally able to be heard.  Putting this podcast out is both a gift to the listeners and to myself. I have found the tools necessary to build a new reality, one that wasn’t laid out before me. One of my own choosing.

In the podcast we broach a subject that I’ve had to deal with a lot, that we all have. This Jehovian Virus™ we’ve uncovered is basically running the show of modern society. I’m currently working on a separate article to go into it in depth, stay tuned for that. Until then, enjoy the gift of a living conversation.

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First Stop From The Back Of The Bus

The name I chose was originally a placeholder, presumably until I thought of a far better one. I quickly lost interest in it after making the account, thought I’d soon delete it. Over time, the more I thought about it, the more it grew on me. It’s an anagram of my grandfather’s name, from what I heard, he was a cold and selfish man.  I never saw that side of him, to my knowledge.  He was always very nice to, he actually liked me. More than his two sons could say. I’d like to think in his old age, he grew into his kindness, after reflecting on the wrongs he did. That’s what I hope to accomplish here, to learn from the past. To change for the better.

 

The thing about the past is, it can’t be changed.  it can’t be denied.  I mean, you can try to run from it, but it’s existence is a constant, relative to yourself.  You can however, use it as a foundation for a new reality.

 

So to me, the name not only means bringing memories to the forefront, but also moving past them.  They are paved roads to navigate, but you can always go off-road and explore.  That’s what life is. I’m not going to avoid certain roads because they have some potholes, or go through bad neighborhoods, they still lead back to me and where I need to go. I’m not going to avoid a side of myself because it’s painful to revisit.

 

we’re forging at the fore

exploring days of yore